Trust

Trust nobody. Trust nobody. Trust nobody. 

I’ve been telling myself this for years.

The voice whispers in my ear. “They’ll only hurt you.”

Trust nobody. “You’ll break again.”

Trust nobody. “They don’t mean what they say.”

Trust nobody. “They don’t really like you.”

Trust nobody. “Family? They have to “like” you”.”

Trust nobody. “They all speak the same lies. They never follow through.”

Hold your head up. Smile. Tell them you trust them.

Inside it just eats me alive and grows like a monster until I feel like I’m being swallowed whole.

Tearing myself apart.

Pushing myself away from people that really care about me.

Trust nobody. 

But I want to trust again.

Trust nobody.

I don’t know how to break the cycle I’m in.

Trust nobody. 

Something’s got to change.

Trust nobody. Trust nobody.

When does it end? I have to take the first step. 

But still the monster whispers, “Trust nobody.”

 

 

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Pain

Many things cause us pain…but it seems that it’s the people we care about the most, that hurt us in the worst ways possible. I went from a constant pain…to a numbness…and now emptiness and apathy. If I focus on the now and just getting by a few minutes at a time, then it’s not so bad. I know “This too shall pass.” It was kinda ironic that I wrote about that yesterday because it was shortly after that pain re entered my own life. I have great friends and family that love me and are reminding me to keep my chin up. 🙂