Trust

9 Apr

Trust nobody. Trust nobody. Trust nobody. 

I’ve been telling myself this for years.

The voice whispers in my ear. “They’ll only hurt you.”

Trust nobody. “You’ll break again.”

Trust nobody. “They don’t mean what they say.”

Trust nobody. “They don’t really like you.”

Trust nobody. “Family? They have to “like” you”.”

Trust nobody. “They all speak the same lies. They never follow through.”

Hold your head up. Smile. Tell them you trust them.

Inside it just eats me alive and grows like a monster until I feel like I’m being swallowed whole.

Tearing myself apart.

Pushing myself away from people that really care about me.

Trust nobody. 

But I want to trust again.

Trust nobody.

I don’t know how to break the cycle I’m in.

Trust nobody. 

Something’s got to change.

Trust nobody. Trust nobody.

When does it end? I have to take the first step. 

But still the monster whispers, “Trust nobody.”

 

 

Aside 31 Mar

What do I do when the words won’t come out? For over a year now I’ve been craving to write something new. The desire to create is driving me crazy. I have words…but saying them or getting them on paper…all I can seem to do is write my thoughts…and even those aren’t really coming out the way I want them to.

Writing is my outlet. I write for fun, through pain, through joy, through trial…and as of late I haven’t been able to do that.

I want to write! No inspiration and ideas that come just float away, or they aren’t complete. Writing use to be so easy and just flow out of me. If I don’t get that back I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Princess Felicity Grace Ch 10 Moonlit Festival

13 Jul

Once everyone was gathered and both parents approved of their attire, they royal family left the palace and began their walk to the beloved fair grounds. The royal family walked forward with dignity, their heads held high and a smile on their faces. As they entered the fair grounds, the cheers of peasants could be heard far and wide. With grace and charm the princess and her family kindly smiled and waved when appropriate.

Alejandro kept his straight expression and kept his eyes and ears open. Felicity’s older sister, Allera, elegantly and discreetly nudged Alejandro and whispered to him as she covered her mouth with a fan. “If you wish to blend in, you should at least try to smile,” she chuckled and fell back into her place with her future husband, some prince from a wealthy alliance of their kingdom.  Alejandro grimaced uncomfortable but sighed knowing she was probably right. The corner of his mouth turned up a little as he tried to smile. Felicity looked at Alejandro and nodded as she smiled. His face would have turned red had he not had more control, but hundreds of years of experience had trained him to conceal this. He finally managed a smile and after a while it came out naturally as he was having a good time.
Following the lead of the royals, Alejandro kept a happy appearance but was still on alert. After stopping to kiss some babies and say kind words to non royals, they finally reached their destination. There was a royal seating booth that only the Queen, King, and their closest friends could sit in. Felicity smiled kindly and before entering the booth and told him to stand until it was time to be seated.  He didn’t understand why they didn’t just sit down. He held back a sigh as he thought of royals and their many traditions.  Together the royal family stood proudly and smiled out at the crowds.

The kind cleared his throat and raised his scepter and a hush grew over the crowd. “Let the Moonlit festivities begin,” he exclaimed and a roar could be heard across the land as the many people cheered. Finally the royals took their seats and Alejandro followed suit.  Alejandro wondered what kind of festivities these people had put together for a moon party. He was pleasantly surprised however.  There were hundreds of circular tables adorned with beautiful china and other things you would see at a tea party. He nodded impressed; this was a late night garden party.

He looked up just as the royal chefs and butlers were setting up trays for each of the royals in the booth. There was one for him too he realized. Finger sandwiches, keesh, scones, and many other tasty little treats filled the platter. He was handed a menu with over 100 tea choices. He settled on the Bourbon Street Vanilla, it sounded delicious.

“Alejandro, which tea are you going to have? Normally I’m a little adventurous and I try new teas…but this year I’m sticking to my favorite, Bourbon Street Vanilla,” she said as she turned to look at him.

He chuckled softly. “That’s the one I picked to try Princess. If it’s your favorite I must have made a good choice,” he said as the tray of food was put in front of him and the tea menu was taken back.  The butler told him that his tea would be ready in about 20 minutes. Wow. They must have a huge kitchen and lots of chefs for this night, there were so many people that were going to drink tea. Too bad they didn’t have magic like he did, though he had to keep it secret among the humans.

The tea was just as good as he thought it would be. The sweet vanilla taste was not over powering but made a lovely balance to the tea. This was his new favorite. He made a mental note to himself to ask for more of this from now on. Tea was one of the few things that relaxed this demon prince.

“Princess, I understand why this is your favorite. It’s honestly one of the most perfectly blended and exquisite teas I have ever tasted, and I’ve tasted a lot in my time. It’s kind of a hobby of mine,” he explained.

“Ah! You and my sister have that in common! She’s a tea connoisseur. Right Liccy,” exclaimed her older sister Allera. Felicity blushed and nodded but added modestly that she wasn’t really an expert. The queen, upon hearing this conversation smiled and used this opportunity to try to bring him closer to the family, and hopefully her beloved daughter.

“Alejandro, if you like tea, you should come with us to Chi’Dong. It’s a very famous tea place we visit a couple times a year. They also have very nice hot springs,” she added and her husband chuckled softly, having experienced the same wit and charm before he had married her. He knew exactly what she was doing. Sure he would have to come along as a bodyguard, but with the invitation he would be joining the family in activities, not just watching them. Alejandro kindly said that he would like that a lot.

Alejandro continued making polite conversation with the royals. He was actually pretty entertained for a while. He had almost let his guard down. Almost. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and decided to scan the crowds and grounds again. You couldn’t be too careful. Depending on who was trying to kill the princess, a public execution might be what they want. Although with the last few attempts he’d heard about, they were getting pretty sloppy and desperate.

That’s when a sudden thought ran through his head. He was concerned but his face did not reveal so. Desperate people lead to desperate acts…things that they thought they could control, but most certainly couldn’t. Humans were delusional and cocky about control. He sensed it then…it wasn’t there yet but it was close by. Something sinister and powerful…something like him. One of his kind. He carefully thought over what his next steps should be. He needed to figure out who it was and who summoned it. Quickly he made some telepathic calls because he would need someone to do this work for him as he couldn’t leave the princess.

Ch. 9 The Beautiful Princess (PFG)

12 Jul

Princess Felicity gracefully walked out of her room, escorted by 2 of her ladies in waiting. Her hair was in a fancy half do. Half of her hair was up in a pony tail and the rest lay long and curly down her back. Glitter had been added to her hair and her makeup had been done in a subtle way to show off her natural beauty.  She wore clear heals similar to the ones we all know as Cinderella’s and they matched her beautiful silver ball gown.

She smiled as she approached the throne room where she would meet her family so they could go out to the fair grounds on the castle together. Her presence announced and the tall and very heavy wooden doors creaked open.

Alejandro was already there dressed in formal attire that mysteriously matched hers, probably the head matrons doing. He was talking to the king and queen when the room got silent. He turned around to see what was going on and stopped suddenly as he saw the princess enter the room. He stared quietly. He had seen many women in his long life, but none compared to the beauty of this young woman he had vowed to protect, which in the recent past, had only been out of boredom. He swallowed and bowed before her as he heard the whispers in the room of how lovely the princess was.

Alejandro then wondered why so many attempts had been on her life as of late. If he were them he would kidnap her and make her his bride. That seemed the logical thing. He cleared his head of that thought and scanned the room, he had momentarily let his guard down. Alejandro didn’t want anything to happen to the beloved princess.

Her parents smiled at her as she joined them. Her brothers and sisters hugged her and giggled as their parents stood from their thrones and gathered next to them. Guards quickly surrounded them and Alejandro blended in with the royal family and stay just behind Princess Felicity for extra security….or that’s what he claimed he was staying so close to them for.

Ch. 8 The Dress (Princess Felicity Grace)

11 Jul

Felicity thought she saw a certain look in his eye before he turned to leave but left it to think twas only her wild imagination running free. She got up from her throne like chair and rang her silver bell. Shortly after hearing the bell, her ladies in waiting came scrambling in. She had several dresses to choose from and she looked over each one carefully. The princess wanted to sort of go with the theme of the Moonlit Festival, so the colors had to be just right.
The first dress laid out was of burgundy red with gold trimmings around the edges. She waved her hand away to dismiss it. It was not right for tonight, perhaps a dinner or something, but not for the Moonlit Festival. She had to be stunning tonight. Though she couldn’t quite admit it yet, the princess wanted to impress her new knight in shining armor, Alejandro.
The second dress was a long white gown with simple lacing. Dismissed. Another gown of pure silver laid out in front of her. She paused and looked at the dress carefully. “Set it aside for now, I really like this one,” the princess demanded and then had them proceed.  The next dress was of deep blue with fancy gold embroidery. Just like the stars and the night sky. Just like the silver one it was breathtakingly beautiful. She sent the rest of the dresses away and sat down so she could carefully look at both dresses.
“Perhaps it would help if you tried it on m’lady,” one of her closest ladies suggested kindly. Felicity nodded and stood up as they scrambled around her to put on the dresses. It didn’t take long for her to know which one was right. They put the dress on her and finished her hair and make up to match.

Ch 7. A Wicked Gleam (PFG)

11 Jul

After some silence that felt less awkward then it should have, Felicity blushed and stood up facing him. “Thank you very much sir, I didn’t know I had company,” she spoke to him as she curtsied politely. He chuckled to himself inside his head and apologized for not making his presence known sooner. “It was my pleasure though m’lady. It really was gorgeous singing. If you have some time, I would like to go over some security procedures for tonight’s festival. Nothing too elaborate, I just want to assure you that you will be more protected then you have been as of late and tonight should go without incident,” he said kindly.
Felicity nodded and took a seat in a chair near her window. She really looked the part of a queen, which she would no doubt be some day. She waved her hand to let him know to continue. Usually this would be rather boring for our beloved princess, but since Alejandro was doing the talking, there was nothing boring about it. She nodded doing her best to listen carefully.
Alejandro noticed something in her eye and brought his procedures to a close. “I’m sorry for having to go over the boring stuff princess. We are done with that now. I will leave now so you can get ready for the Moonlit Festival…if I may be so bold to ask…is anyone accompanying you tonight?” he asked sounding amused at his own thoughts.
Felicity blushed and shook her head. “Well not in any way that’s too important. My father has me meeting another prince tonight. We use to play together when we were little. He was rather boring though. I hope he’s at least improved at conversation, otherwise I may end up falling asleep tonight.” She laughed softly.
“I see…”Alejandro said and bowed before turning away with a wicked gleam in his eye.

Ch. 6 Following the Voice (PFG)

9 Jul

“Mmm. Yummy,” Felicity hummed quietly as she sipped on some vanilla chai tea that a servant had just brought her. Drinking tea helped her relax. After finishing the tea she tried to lie down and get some rest, but had no luck falling asleep. She sighed and got back out of bad deciding to play some music instead. She sat down at her harp because she wasn’t in the mood for the piano. She slowly began strumming an old tune that she had heard in a fairytale a long time ago.  The words flowed out of her effortlessly as she sang in a tongue that was foreign to most people in the modern day.  Felicity continued singing the mystical song and was unaware of her visitor that no doubt had been drawn by her voice as much as the lyrics.

Alejandro had cracked the door open and slowly entered, mesmerized by the fact that anyone in this age new the language and the fact that her voice was other worldly. It especially surprised him to find the princess to be the one playing the instrument and singing. She had closed her eyes and entered a world all on her own as she pictured her story of song coming to life. As she slowly came to the finish, Alejandro clapped for her with a smile on his face.

“That…was the most amazing thing I have heard in a VERY long time, Princess,” he said as he gave a slight bow.

Felicity looked up startled because she had been unaware of him entering her room. She blushed at the compliment because her music was something she mostly kept to herself and did for fun.  They both stayed silent trying to find words to say.